The Liminal Void

I don’t feel like I am “home” anymore.

I haven’t for a while now...

months, maybe longer.

I’m trapped somewhere between here and there,

viced between love and hate,

still.

The liminal space is trying.

I see the things I hate in people,

the same things I’ve mirrored in myself out of push and shove,

a survival dance I never wanted to learn.

I see the wade...

a standstill inside the same waters.

My body is exhausted and restless within itself,

wondering what can and will be done next,

to break what must be broken.

This place is such a void.

I hate it.

But somehow,

I’m still grateful.

Trapped inside contradictions.

I want to exit.

I want to live.

To love and be loved in return.

xxxo,

Ci