What I Still Believe About Love

Disclosure: Written on March 12, 2025. I’m sharing this now, in December 2025, from different circumstances, but with the same heart and the same beliefs.

Nothing about how I feel has changed for me,

I am simply solo.

This is a moment of vulnerability I feel ready to let be seen.

This is not a love song, this is life.

___

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I don’t believe in just throwing away really amazing relationships just because they change in some way.

Not all stay,

but some do,

and there’s peace in that.

I have enjoyed that kind of love and acceptance most my life.

But. there is a turning point, there is a switch sometimes.

If you think anything like me?

Love without boundaries?

Sometimes, someone will make you choose.

and if they do?

It is a restriction,

a control in disguise.

I fell for it.

Not for validation, not for a role to play.

Simply because it’s what I thought I missed inside the safety of love.

But it hasn't been, its been comfort for someone elses insecurity.

And its brought me growing pain.

I don’t want to lose someone who has been a friend, a creative partner, a lover, a mirror.

I dont think we need to, but maybe I am learning that sometimes we have to.

I think it’s important to acknowledge that relationships evolve,

and if you truly love someone,

of course you have to keep certain things sacred...

Prioritizing time,

exploration,

fun,

creation,

conversation,

a judgment free space,

affection,

trust,

loyalty,

lust.

But most importantly?

Acceptance and understanding.

Lovingly.

Love can evolve in many forms.

Life is art, and I want to stay open and curious to wherever my path leads.

Right now my breakup is getting difficult because I’ve seen a side of him I didn’t expect.

I’m not sure what it means yet, but I don’t want that energy in my life.

I know I don’t deserve it.

What I want is communication,

understanding,

and a willingness to explore possibilities together.

Not in chaos, but with intention.

My loyalty stays at the core.

I won’t fold again, but I can bend.

I can grow.

And if my fears about him turned out to be true,

I would look inward,

examine my participation,

and evaluate the whole picture with honesty.

____

Ending:

Heats rising from my core,

beginning again in solitude.

And I do this for love,

yours and mine,

again and again,

and again,

and

again,

as many times as it takes,

to accept all the forms we deserve.

::: who is yours and mine?

I don’t know anymore.

I guess it’s all of us:::

xxxo,

Ci